Confessions of an introvert teacher

Teaching

Teaching | Monday, November 24, 2014

Confessions of an introvert teacher

Teaching scares me to death. It makes me nervous. But it’s also like a roller coaster ride, and it’s exhilarating. That disconnect is OK, though.

Teaching scares me to death.

I know, that’s not something that teachers are supposed to say. We should be excited for every opportunity we have to help shape the future of the kids we teach.

And I am. Those opportunities make me excited. Just pretty nervous, too.

Sunday nights are generally the worst — a slow, constant, building uneasiness that generally climaxes before I go to bed. As I go over my lesson plans for the week, those thoughts start creeping in my head.

What could go wrong? How will students respond? Is this the best experience I can create for them?

You see, I can put on a great front as an extrovert in my classes, at conference sessions I lead and in my everyday life.

Even though I have a small streak of extrovert, I’m an introvert at heart. Extroverts get energy from being around people. It’s like a natural high that they can’t get enough of. Introverts like me draw energy from solitude, from being alone with our thoughts and our work.

Being around lots of people all day feels like a long roller coaster ride for me.

I arrive at school in the morning and it begins with students greeting me — or not greeting me — in the hallway. How will I respond?

It continues through the school day. How will students respond to the material I present — and the way I present it? Will it be interesting or engaging to them?

Then, at the end of the day, the final bell rings. Students exit my classroom. I collapse in my desk chair and take a deep breath. It’s over.

The roller coaster has ended.

See, if this roller coaster was all fear and no fun, I would have found a different line of work a long time ago.

Teaching is scary, but it’s also exhilarating.

Let’s go back through that day. As I greet students before school and they greet me back, it’s like going over that first big hill on a roller coaster. It’s a rush. But if they don’t greet me back, I remind myself that they’re probably dealing with something and my interaction might be something positive that helps them. (Little rush.)

As I teach and get students interacting with and in Spanish, it’s as exciting as a series of tight corkscrews when they get it and enjoy themselves. If they don’t get it — or if they’re bored by it, the exciting rush of the roller coaster starts to disappear.

Then it becomes a puzzle (sorry if I’m mixing metaphors here!). I have to figure out what wasn’t interesting. Was it the presentation? Was it unclear? Or was it affected by factors (life at home, friends, sickness, etc.) that I have no control over?

The rush starts to come back as I have hope of getting it right the next time. Then the next class comes and it’s off to another steep hill on the roller coaster.

Let me be clear: I LOVE roller coasters. I love real roller coasters at theme parks and will stand in long lines to ride them. But I also love this figurative roller coaster of teaching. Here’s the difference:

Real roller coasters last for a few minutes and they’re over. It’s just enough of an adrenaline high to make me want to scream and giggle and jump for joy.

The teaching roller coaster lasts for seven hours. It has its exciting highs, but at the end, all of that stimulation wears me out. I need to draw back into the “cave” (a little bit of solitude) to get calmed down and recharged. Then I’m ready to get back on the roller coaster.

So, you might be thinking, “How does this fit into the ‘Ditch That Textbook’ mold?”

My focus for this blog is to write about using technology and creative teaching in the classroom. But it’s also to ditch those textbook assumptions that many people still have about teachers and teaching and education.

We don’t have to be outgoing “people people” (that’s a “people person,” but plural) to be great teachers. If we’re nervous before a day of school, that doesn’t mean we should be looking at another line of work.

I decided many years ago that I would embrace that uneasiness. I’m going to keep creating lesson plans and getting on the roller coaster each school day even though there’s a level of discomfort with it.

Why? Because I believe in education, and I believe in kids. And I also believe that embracing things that make you uncomfortable is a great way to become the best version of you that you can be.

What level of introvert or extrovert do you think you are? And how does it affect what you do as an educator? Please leave us a comment!

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  • Patty Melei says:

    Thx Matt! Beautifully written! This needed ro be shared. Have a great year and keep writing and teching!

  • Erin Madsen says:

    I wouldn’t describe my feelings as “nervous,” but rather that I really need to be by myself and get my head in the right place. My family members have learned not to bother inviting me over for dinner Sunday night, and my boyfriend knows that once the dinner dishes are done, I will be retreating to the bedroom to read. He knows his job is to stay downstairs and leave me alone. I also relish the fact that I have a 35 minute drive to and from work that is “me time.” I can focus myself on the way to work (go over lesson plans in my head, think about how I’m going to deal with certain scenarios), and I can decompress on the drive home, because I finish the day exhausted and dying to be alone.

  • Anonymous says:

    Omg, I thought it was just me! Thanks for this post =) And hope you’re still having some good rides!!

  • Nancy says:

    Thank you!. I thought I was the only one who felt that way.

  • Katherine Albright says:

    I am the ultimate shy, introverted person around adults. But, put me in a room full of kids and I am full of life, making jokes and having the time of my life! Thanks for sharing how it feels for you!

  • Becky says:

    This is spot on. I love interacting with my students, I love creating an environment where they feel comfortable and learn at their best… But man is it a lot of emotional and mental work, and all I want to do at the end of the day is curl up and read a book!

  • Zach Netzley says:

    This is likely the same situation faced by many of our students throughout each and every school day. Something to keep in mind that should influence our interactions with them so that they can be positive experiences instead of adrenaline killers. Keep coaching those who are afraid of the roller coasters to challenge themselves and take their educational journey to the next level knowing that they are supported and that it is safe.

  • Ai Sheila says:

    Thanks to the Web, I am glad to realize that I am not alone. I remember when I was doing my teacher training course, I actually confided to my supervisor that I am an introvert and a bit sociophobic, I can teach but I am actually nervous too being in front of those children, but still I like teaching. You know what her reply was? She said ‘Then why are you taking this course? You should not be a teacher then, especially a TESL teacher.’ Yet, I continued with this career and it is almost 10 years now and I am glad I didn’t follow my supervisor’s GREAT advice.

  • Marie Slim says:

    I am a Spanish teacher and fellow introvert! I LOVE being with students all day but I definitely need my “alone time” to refuel my energy. One of my university professors made me very aware that even a commute to and from work can be a “recharging time.” He also said that when he would come home for work he went into his room for 1/2 hour. His wife totally understood that he’d be a nicer person if he got his “alone time.” I loved the book “Quiet” by Susan Cain was enlightening as well and talks about all types of aspects of introversion. She talks about some of the strategies we introverts use to be effective and sometimes even outdo extroverts in communication!

  • Jody says:

    Yes, thank you. Staff development also a challenge, not an over enthusiastic greeter (of adults).

  • Kasey Bell says:

    Good to know I am not alone! I am very much an introvert myself, and it takes a lot for me to put myself out there on the web, and in front of teachers and students!

  • Ken Keene says:

    Extrovert, YES! Nervous before the bell, sure. But it’s an “I can’t wait for the bell” nervousness, not a “Please don’t ring the bell” nervousness. The high I experience is not from the presentation itself. I get high on the response to the presentation. A long time ago I asked myself, “How does Frank Sinatra do two shows a night, six days a week?” The answer was “The audience is different every time and each deserves my very best.” I believe my content is appropriate. I believe my delivery is well planned. The challenge as well as the excitement lies in the improvisations that I must do to meet the needs and moods of my individual classless and the individuals within those classes. WOW! I get excited just thinking about it!

  • Scott says:

    Thank you for the honest post! As a fellow introvert who gets nervous about teaching I appreciated it. I always tell the kids talking to a crowd of 15 year olds ir older makes me incredibly nervous. I use that a lot to try to calm their nerves come presentation times.

    I wonder how many more teachers are introverts? Thanks for the honest post and all your sharing.

  • Elizabeth Finney says:

    I’m an IA, not a teacher, but I have some of the same introvert/extrovert qualms you do. I love working with the kids – especially small groups or one-on-one! But I am drained by the end of the day and Friday, I’m exhausted. Maybe this is why some teachers fight so hard for prep periods – they need to shut their doors and recharge. Good luck with the roller coaster this week!

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